cyberdisgusting:

dads are either too nice or assholes there is no in between

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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witchcraftand-wizardry:

i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5”3’ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy

rneerkat:

hey are you a bank because you need to leave me a loan

bagmilk:

me

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you

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(Source: heteroh)


tylerchokely:

i cant stop watching

(Source: automatically)

youngstero:

my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia

the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom